What can I do with this awful pain
That festers in my heart?
Pain that shreds me, cuts me up
Pain that tears me apart.
How do I face emotion or feelings?
Each pang of sorrow or fear,
Unable to face them, helpless and frightened
I suppress each rising tear
Pain overwhelms me, like a monstrous storm
No control, unleashed from within,
I need to contain it, need to suppress it,
I must not let it win.
I can’t let it go, I need the control
Knife, scissors, sharp metal blade,
In time the scars may fade.
Restless and desperate, with trembling hand
Scratching, carving my skin,
A sharp sting, I see blood, all is numb,
A strange calm now within.
I look at my wounds, disappointed with self,
That I had to harm for release.
Surely there must be some other way
To find that inner peace.
The fix is short lived and I know that in time
The feelings will surface again,
But for now at least
I have quieted the storm
Exchanging a wound for my pain
A young person